I want a REAL COACH...

I want a real Coach.

I want a real coach that wins the National Championship every year.

Like…er…nevermind.

I want a real coach that wins his conference EVERY year, like Pete Carroll at USC.

Oh…wait…USC has given up 50 points twice this year and is going to the Sun Bowl.

I want a real coach that has been to the National Championship game three times and won them all, like Jim Tressel at Ohio State.

Well…actually…he’s 1-2 in title games getting blown out by Florida and LSU in ’06 and ’07.

I want a real coach that wins 10 games every year and has been to 7 BSC games, 4 National Championship Games and won them ALL! You know, like Bob Stoops at Oklahoma.

That’s not entirely correct; he’s actually 6-5 this season, 1-4 in National Championship Games and lost his last 5 consecutive BCS games. LOSER! Who wants a guy like that!?

I want a real coach that can win the SEC 6 times in 10 years, like that Spurrier guy.

Nevermind the fact that he’s 18-22 in the SEC in his last 5 seasons.

I want a real coach that can lose to UAB and UL Monroe at home and go 12-0 in the regular season, lose in the SEC title game and then get blasted in the Sugar Bowl.

Actually, I think Nick Saban could have some success at LSU.

I want a real coach who can win two National Titles in three years and would never lose TWICE to a fool like Les Miles. Urban Meyer is our man. We will just look the other way at those two loses to that goofball Miles.

That settles it then, LSU’s AD needs to fire Miles and hire either Saban or Meyer for the 2010 season. See how easy that was…