Grinched

In comedy, in the courtroom and on the gridiron, timing is everything, and the timing of Saban’s announcement stinks to high heaven!! On Christmas evening, Saban gave LSU a huge lump of coal as he jumped to the No Fun League’s, Miami Dolphins. Saban’s departure was expected and very few were surprised, but on Christmas Day?? Sure, I know, he wanted to tell his players first yada-yada-yada. I get it. I also understand that the Miami gig is a fantastic opportunity and I can’t blame him for moving on to the next level. But his timing was a bummer, and perhaps, unavoidable.

I listened to the first few minutes of Saban’s press conference but then I realized, why the hell am I watching a press conference involving the Miami Dolphins head coach? As that fact dawned upon me I quickly turned off the TV and got back to much more important matters, like open the remaining gifts with my family.

I know there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth and plenty of FOOLS cursing Saban’s name. Get a grip. The man won two SEC Championships and a National Title. He has won 48 games over five years and beaten the best in the business. It hurts now, but as time passes and LSU continues to win, the pain will subside. I know some will root against Saban so they can say, “should have stayed at LSU.” Others will cheer for the Dolphins and hope Nick’s success continues at the next level. I’m more ambivalent. I don’t know Saban personally. He seems like a good guy. He worked very hard while he was at LSU earning every dollar thrown at him. He won a bunch of football games and I was able to watch LSU win a National Title because of his hard work. But our relationship is over, because the only thing we shared was LSU football. Now that the link is broken, we can go our separate ways.

College sports is a business where loyalty takes a back seat to a number of things including, wins, money and ego. Had Saban come in and struggled, folks would be burning up the airwaves with complaints. Look at Ron Zook, before he even coached a game two guys created FireRonZook.com. Remember, Nick Saban was hired for ONE reason, to win football games. Everything else is window dressing. He wasn’t hired to be funny. He wasn’t hired to fall in love with LSU. He wasn’t hired to eventually retire in Baton Rogue and become a symbol of the university. He was paid for W’s, and he delivered big time.

Where to now? I have no idea. I assume Bertman has been working behind the scenes putting together a short list of coaching candidates. LSU is VERY attractive and LSU should do well as long as the process isn’t botched. I hope it happens soon. A new coach must assemble a staff and pick up where Saban left off in recruiting. LSU will be loaded next year, with the right guy, the Tigers will make another run at a National Championship. Let’s hope the next guy is in the Saban mold….not Curley bout Crazy.

PS…Oh yeah, the bowl game! Lost in the saga was the fact that LSU will play Iowa on New Year’s Day. A number of questions come to mind. Will Randall put together consecutive solid games? Will the younger players be distracted by the uncertainty of a new coach? Will the entire team focus on the task at hand when they know the taskmaster will be out the door at game’s end? All we can do is hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.

Final Musings...

Final Musings?! What do you mean? The season isn’t over yet! What about the bowl games?

What about them? You play all season to get in the best bowl possible, then play a meaningless game over New Year. Outside of the Championship Game, the rest of the match-ups are a bunch of exhibitions…thus the fundamental problem with the college football postseason. If you have a pulse, you’re in. 6-5? Come on down. Lost two games by more than 25 points this year? You can still play a great post season bowl no one has ever heard of. Haven’t beaten a team with a winning record this season? Think nothing of it. We will gladly have you fans in town to blow their hard earned money.

Auburn got hosed this season, but those are the rules. Everyone is complaining that Auburn should be ranked ahead of Oklahoma and USC. This is the wrong argument. Fans should be saying, “this system blows and we need to blow it up.” I like the four team playoff idea. Only one extra game. I would rather have the 5^th place team yelling than a worthy 3^rd place team.

Who does Ole Piss think they are fooling? You can throw as much money at a guy as you want, you are not going to play with the big boys every season. Recruiting Mississippi is tough with Ole Piss, Southern Miss and MSU all competeing for the same players. Firing Cutcliff was a HUGE mistake. Mark it down, the Rebels will be looking for a new head man following the 2007 season.

What happened to Miami? Lose a Championship game to Virginia Tech? At home?

Notre Shame is not a great job. The Irsih don’t have a natural geographical recruiting base advantage (think the Florida schools, OU and Texas, LSU, Michigan Ohio State or USC). Everyone is on TV now, so ND’s special deal with NBC isn’t all that special. The fan’s are unrealistic and the academic standards can create recruiting issues. Plus they try and low ball “THE MAN” (Urban Meyer) after they gunned Willingham. If I have to pick between making 1 million a year or DOUBLE that amount, the decision is made much easier.

I like Oklahoma in the National Championship game. No one is going to pick them, a la the 2001 Orange Bowl when the Sooners spanked the Criminoles. I picked the Sooners to win it all back on August 25, so I am sticking with them now.

Good...Bad

Good…The Mighty Spartans. If you are undefeated late in the season and in the hunt to play for a National Title, you better strap it on when playing the Spartans. Ohio State in ’98 and now Wisconsin in ’04 have fallen victim to MSU in late season upsets. My vote for Big Eleven coach of the year is John L. Smith. No one has done more with less this season. With a win over pathetic PSU, the Spartans will go bowling again.

Bad…Wisconsin. You are playing for the Rose Bowl. You are playing for a possible National Championship. You fall flat on your face. Giving up 49 points to the Spartans!! Are you kidding me. This ladies and gents, was a total meltdown.

Good…Auburn has the look of a Champion.

Bad…Georgia looks a little toothless this season. Sure, they punked LSU and Florida. But against UT and AU, the Dawgs pooped on the carpet and got spanked for it.

Good…Miami. NEVER, EVER, EVER count out the Canes. Sure, they feel asleep the last two weeks, but in the big money game they were superb.

Bad…Virginia. Can we finally agree that this team is a good second tier squad in the ACC? They have not beaten a team with a winning record and have been beaten by a combined total of 44 points by FSU and Miami. Stay on the porch ‘cause the big dogs are running all over your ass.

Good…Florida avoided a losing season with a serious beat down of South Carolina.

Good or Bad?…Spurrier to the Gamecocks? Although only a rumor, there are juicy possibilities. You think he would just love to stick it to the Gators?

Good…Scott Peterson. GUILTY.

Bad…Up next…the needle?

Good…The Contenders. USC, Auburn, Oklahoma, Utah.

Bad…Poser Material. Wisconsin.

The Big Story

The biggest story of the past week is George Bush’s triumphant reelection as President. While I could easily talk about the importance of his reelection, that’s not why we’re here is it?

The big story in college football, in my mind, is the four undefeated teams remaining with a shot at the Orange Bowl. USC, Oklahoma, Auburn and Wisconsin are all in the race for the National Title. I am amazed not at the fact that they are in the mix, but how they have gotten there.

USC has a few blowouts on the resume, but they have deftly avoided the upset bug in a few nail biters. The Men of Troy have won 4 of their games by 11 points or less, with the Stanford and Cal meetings going down to the wire.

Oklahoma has survived spirited challenges the last few weeks on the road from Oklahoma State and Texas A&M. 3 of their last 4 games have been decided by 10 points or less.

Auburn has done a better of job avoiding close games. Actually, with the exception of the one point win over LSU, The Tigers have blow everyone out with their closest margin of victory 18 points.

The Badgers lived dangerously to start the season. With a 2 point win over Arizona and a 3 point win over Purdue after a last second missed field goal, Wisconsin dodged heartbreaking losses.

All of these teams have senior leadership and a little luck added in. But this trend goes beyond these four. Texas was down by 28 against OSU this weekend then roared back to win. Oregon dropped an easy 4th down pass late in the game Saturday letting California off the hook. Louisville could not get a stop against Miami a few weeks ago to preserve a huge upset. Michigan has won three games by 3 points or less. LSU beat Oregon State and Troy by a combined 5 points. With four weeks left in the season, there are 13 teams with zero or one loss. Last season ended with no undefeated teams and only two teams with one loss (LSU and USC). What gives?

I think it is a combination of mental toughness by the winners and an inability to seal the deal by the losers. I have watched over 100 games this season (sick, ain’t it?), every single one of the games I have mentioned earlier. The favorites have consistently made plays late in games while the underdogs have been oh-so-close yet unable to make that ONE critical play, fumble recovery, an interception, a big sack, or a deep pass setting up a field goal late to seal a huge upset. It can be frustrating seeing some heavyweights slip by overmatched opponents, but it is also a pleasure to watch good teams execute in clutch situations.

Speaking of execution, I think LSU fans are going to be on the warpath after the game against Alabama. Although the streak was broken back in 2000, LSU has only beaten Alabama once in Tiger Stadium since 1969. This is a solid Alabama team with one of the nation’s best defenses. The Tide is ranked #1 in the country in total defense and pass defense, giving up only 224 yards and 107 yards per game respectively. Alabama is 6th in scoring defense giving up only 13.5 points a contest. The Tigers are no slouches though. LSU ranks #4 nationally in total defense and pass defense. Both teams will rely on the running game while on offense. But LSU has turned the ball over a ridiculous number of times this season (88th nationally in TO margin) and I look for that to continue this week. Alabama also has a big edge in special teams. The Tide is ranked #1 in KO returns and Brian Bostick is 13 for 16 in the field goal department. This game has been described as the beginning of a “3 game season.” Too bad the Tigers will get off to a rocky start.

LSU 10 – Alabama 13.

Top 5 QB's of the Past 25 Years

Rather than tell everyone what they already know, i.e., the Tigers don’t have a reliable QB, I thought I’d reflect back on the best LSU signal callers from the last 25 years. I have personally seen all these guys play, and they have very different styles. But what they held in common was the ability to make plays at critical junctures. Each has a signature victory, which LSU fans, young and old, will reminisce about for years to come.

1. Tommy Hodson - #1 in career passing yards, attempts, completions and TD passes in LSU history. This was really a no brainer. As cool as they come, Hodson orchestrated the game winning drive in 1988 in the legendary Earth Quake game against Auburn. He won 2 SEC Championships and played in three bowl games. He was All-SEC four times (86-89). Along with Y. A. Tittle and Bert Jones, Hodson is one of the best EVER to don the purple and gold.

2. Matt Mauck – I know, how can you rank the guy second when he won a National Championship? Mauck was the beneficiary of a tremendous defense and surrounded by a bevy of talent. Mauck knew how to make plays and was definitely a big game type of guy. He played masterfully in 2 SEC Championship games and who can forget the TD throw in the 2004 Georgia game. Ranking him 2^nd is not a knock on Mauck, only a tribute to Hodson.

3. Herb Tyler – In looking at the last 25 years, I cannot think another player who squeezed as much production out of his ability as Herb. He ranks in the top four in LSU history in every important career passing statistic. In addition to his passing, Tyler racked up 23 rushing TD’s. The 1997 victory over #1 Florida ranks with one of the greatest wins in LSU history. He was never appreciated fully until he was gone.

4. Rohan Davey – Injuries and that nightmare it sickens me to mention (the sorry good for nothing Josh Booty) are the ONLY reason Davey is not ranked higher. He led LSU to the 2001 SEC Championship and a Sugar Bowl victory over Illinois. He holds the single season record for yards, attempts and completions. Davey holds the SEC record for total yards in a single game for his 540 yards against the Crimson Tide in 2001. Don’t forget, LSU’s only Biletnikoff winner, Josh Reed, owes a great deal to Davey’s right arm.

5. Allen Risher – My dad calls him the smartest QB he’s seen play at LSU. The “Slidell Slinger” played from 1980 to 1982. The ’82 team, which finished 8-3-1, was a grand total of 7 points away from an undefeated season. He led LSU to a huge victory over the Criminoles as Oranges rained down on Tiger Stadium on a very special Saturday night. While he was probably less athletic than the QB’s ahead of him, he was a leader and his senior season was my first as an LSU fan. So yeah, I like the guy.

Good...Bad

Good…Oklahoma State goes up 35-7 over the Longhorns in Austin.

Bad…The Cowboys then proceed to give up 49 straight points and lose 35-56. One of the wilder games I have ever seen.

Good…Boomer Sooner baby. Repeatedly punched in the mouth by the Aggies, Oklahoma battled back as Jason White threw 5 TD passes in a great win at Kyle Field.

Bad…Coach Fran loses for the second week in a row. Which is worse? Losing in OT to Baylor or at the buzzer of regulation to Oklahoma?

Good…Tommy Bowden doing the late season thing again to avoid getting fired. This was no fluke; Clemson played very well and hung around long enough to win in OT.

Bad…Larry Coker. I don’t remember Johnson, Erickson or Davis losing at home in November.

Good…One reason I love my job, the people. A guy comes to court to plead guilty to a misdemeanor this week and wears a t-shirt that says on the back, “In honor of Melvin Jones, 4/18/73 Alpha, 9/29/00 Omega, We’re all going to miss you.” That’s nice, a little tribute to a guy who passes before his time. As I am sitting in court listening to the judge read the defendant his rights, out of curiosity I type “Melvin Jones” into our computer system. WOW!! It turns out that Melvin was very busy while with us. He had at least 10 arrests, including cocaine possession, burglary and robbery amongst other things. You can’t make this shit up!

Bad…Wasted talent. I went to the Angola rodeo last week and bought a beautiful charcoal picture of a little girl drawn by one of the inmates. This is a wonderful picture that is now hanging in my office at work. I knew I’d end up regretting this, but I looked him up in the system to see what he is in for. Forcible Rape. Great. What a waste.

Good…Ohio State is putting the pieces back together for the upcoming showdown with the Wolverines. Tressell will pull out all the stops. If Ohio State wins, fans will forgive the Buckeyes for a lackluster season.

Bad…Michigan State. This comes with an asterisk however. The Mighty Spartans will rebound next year as more of John L. Smith’s players enter the program. The cupboard was bare on defense and it takes time to rebuild the mess left by Bobby Williams. Have hope Spartan fans, better times are ahead.

Good…Marcia Cross from Desperate housewives. Bada-bing.

Bad…Haven’t seen enough of this show.

Pissed!!!

When Nick Saban says he is “PISSED” in the post game radio interview, you know the man isn’t happy. For the last four plus seasons, Saban has made it a habit to keep his emotions in check when talking about the Tigers and dealing with the media. But Saturday night, his patience was sorely tested in LSU’s come from behind victory over Troy. He even told Jordy that he (Saban) appreciated Jordy’s positive spin on the game, but that didn’t change the fact that he was pissed.

Before I rip on Randall, I think the biggest problem this season has been turnover margin. LSU is ranked #101 out of 117 Division I teams. The Tigers are –7 this season. At the top of the ladder, Texas A&M is +16. Turnovers have killed the Tigers and kept the last two games closer than they should have been. The running backs have been careless with the ball and the same can be said for the quarterbacks.

With Marcus Randall at the helm, LSU has been as schizophrenic as any team in the SEC, even the entire country. Randall is now 8-6 in games in which he started or came off the bench to finish. LSU’s longest winning streak with Randall is two games. (win, loss, win, loss, win, loss, loss, win, win, loss, win, loss, win, win) In his career he has thrown 15 TD’s and 11 INT’s. I assume that Saban has decided to end the QB merry-go-round and just stick with Randall, come hell or high water.

Welcome to Hell…

Don’t misunderstand me, Randall plays very hard and prepares for games. But he hasn’t conquered the mental part of the game. Be it acting as a steadying influence or playing well week after week against quality opponents. Looking at his numbers, one could conclude that he is putting together a nice season. The problem is consistency. He played well last week yet struggled against an overmatched (or so it seemed on paper) Troy team. Opportunities present themselves Saturday and he didn’t take advantage of them. Against Florida, WITH a healthy running game, Randall made a number of plays and correct reads. Against Troy, he never took advantage of man coverage. He threw deep maybe once or twice. Is this a function of play calling? I have no idea, only the staff can answer that question. But this has been a problem ALL season. Having said all that, stunningly, LSU is second in the conference in passing offense.

* BTW: It seems like we ran only four different plays last night; the shuffle pass to Skyler Green, the slip screen to Craig Davis, 10 yard out routes, or my favorite, the drop back and run around and get two yards by Randall/ QB draw for 1 yard.

Adding to Saban’s angst, LSU’s inability to run the ball is a huge problem. I don’t know how the O-Line graded out, but it could not have been very good. Looking at the bigger picture, during Saban’s tenure at LSU, the Tigers have had only one 1000 yard rusher (Justin Vincent, 1001 yards in 2003). Again, this may be a function of play calling and the rotation of the running backs.

I think the rest of the season looks unclear at this point. No one can get a handle on this team. I assume Randall will be the quarterback all season, but how can you leave him in there if he continues to play poorly? If Saban rides the season out with Randall, where will the Tigers be next season? I have heard a number of negative things about Russell. He’s not that sharp; he doesn’t like to watch film; he can’t read defenses. If these things are true, I think the race will be wide open with Matt Flynn getting an opportunity to play. Quarterback is the toughest position to project coming out of high school, and while recruiting is important, I will always remain skeptical until a guy makes plays IN Tiger Stadium.

LSU gets Vandy next week and I am reluctant to guess what the final score may be. The Tigers will win the game, but who knows which offense will show up. Saban will be chewing ass all week, so I expect a solid performance. LSU 34 – Vandy 3.

So Now What????

So now what?

Are we going to have to wait another 45 years for the next National Championship?

What is the over/under on the number of games LSU loses before some fans start calling for Saban to be fired?

How many games will go by before we hear, “I really didn’t appreciate Matt Mauck till he was gone”?

Anyone starting to think this “new” piggyback BCS model is worse than the old bowl system?

Bush or Kerry?

Will Mack Brown’s job be on the line when the Longhorns meet Oklahoma on October 9?

What crappy Big Least team will end up in the BCS mix?

Is there really a Liberal Media Bias?

Who is going to lose first, USC or LSU?

Who is going to be the next “soldier” going to “war” for this “U?”

Anyone ever use the term “C---” (rhymes with “bunt”) as a term of endearment? (Click here if that one went over your head. Yes, this is a SPORTS related!)

What institution of higher education is going on probation next?

Is ESPN’s SportsCenter turning into the WWE of sporting news shows?

Kirsten Dunst or Mira Sorvino?

Where have all the stud running backs gone?

Who are the best LSU quarterbacks over the past 25 years?

Why do the plastic screws on my toilet seat keep breaking?

All are great questions, questions that the Hit Parade will be tackling all season long.

Moment of a Lifetime

I admit it. As I watched Nick Saban hoist the crystal football inside the Superdome, I got a little misty eyed. After watching good teams make runs to 10 win seasons in 1987 and 1996, and living through hell from 1989 to 1994, the 2003 football season will always hold a special place for me. The 2004 National Championship trophy represents the personal culmination of 22 years of cheering, cursing and crying. During all those preseason conversations filled with hope which inevitably led to late season discussions of “what if?,” I always held out hope, even if the flame flickered quite often during the “Curley-bout-Crazy” era.

In a season full of blowouts, two plays stick out in my mind: (1) Matt Mauck’s game winning pass to Skyler Green versus Georgia in Tiger Stadium, (2) Manning going down at Ole Miss on the Rebels final offensive drive. The plays typified LSU’s success on both sides of the ball. Excluding the Florida game, the Tigers had timely offensive production and key defensive stops all season.

I can’t add much about LSU’s performance. The DEFENSE was just too DAMN good. Earlier this season, I called them the Nasty Boys, and they lived up to the name time and again this season. The defense put LSU in a position to play for the National Championship. The defense won the Sugar Bowl while special teams and offense gave Oklahoma its scoring opportunities. Spears’ interception and return for a TD to begin the 3^rd quarter gave LSU an insurmountable lead which the defense preserved the rest of the way. How fitting was it for Lionel Turner to sack Heisman winning quarterback Jason White to seal the victory?

I’d be remiss in not mentioning the issue with the “split” title.

LSU would beat USC.

Oklahoma was the #1 scoring team in the nation. The Tigers held the Sooners to 14 points. LSU only gave up more than 20 points once the entire season, and that was to Arkansas as the Tigers scored 55 in a route. USC has more Heisman Trophy winners, more All-Americans, more Titles and more national recognition than LSU. But the Tigers have the Nasty Boys, and the Nasty Boys would not be denied.

I want to thank everyone for reading the page each week. You readers keep me going each week even when I’m feeling lazy.

See you next season…