Good...Bad

Good…Oklahoma State goes up 35-7 over the Longhorns in Austin.

Bad…The Cowboys then proceed to give up 49 straight points and lose 35-56. One of the wilder games I have ever seen.

Good…Boomer Sooner baby. Repeatedly punched in the mouth by the Aggies, Oklahoma battled back as Jason White threw 5 TD passes in a great win at Kyle Field.

Bad…Coach Fran loses for the second week in a row. Which is worse? Losing in OT to Baylor or at the buzzer of regulation to Oklahoma?

Good…Tommy Bowden doing the late season thing again to avoid getting fired. This was no fluke; Clemson played very well and hung around long enough to win in OT.

Bad…Larry Coker. I don’t remember Johnson, Erickson or Davis losing at home in November.

Good…One reason I love my job, the people. A guy comes to court to plead guilty to a misdemeanor this week and wears a t-shirt that says on the back, “In honor of Melvin Jones, 4/18/73 Alpha, 9/29/00 Omega, We’re all going to miss you.” That’s nice, a little tribute to a guy who passes before his time. As I am sitting in court listening to the judge read the defendant his rights, out of curiosity I type “Melvin Jones” into our computer system. WOW!! It turns out that Melvin was very busy while with us. He had at least 10 arrests, including cocaine possession, burglary and robbery amongst other things. You can’t make this shit up!

Bad…Wasted talent. I went to the Angola rodeo last week and bought a beautiful charcoal picture of a little girl drawn by one of the inmates. This is a wonderful picture that is now hanging in my office at work. I knew I’d end up regretting this, but I looked him up in the system to see what he is in for. Forcible Rape. Great. What a waste.

Good…Ohio State is putting the pieces back together for the upcoming showdown with the Wolverines. Tressell will pull out all the stops. If Ohio State wins, fans will forgive the Buckeyes for a lackluster season.

Bad…Michigan State. This comes with an asterisk however. The Mighty Spartans will rebound next year as more of John L. Smith’s players enter the program. The cupboard was bare on defense and it takes time to rebuild the mess left by Bobby Williams. Have hope Spartan fans, better times are ahead.

Good…Marcia Cross from Desperate housewives. Bada-bing.

Bad…Haven’t seen enough of this show.

Pissed!!!

When Nick Saban says he is “PISSED” in the post game radio interview, you know the man isn’t happy. For the last four plus seasons, Saban has made it a habit to keep his emotions in check when talking about the Tigers and dealing with the media. But Saturday night, his patience was sorely tested in LSU’s come from behind victory over Troy. He even told Jordy that he (Saban) appreciated Jordy’s positive spin on the game, but that didn’t change the fact that he was pissed.

Before I rip on Randall, I think the biggest problem this season has been turnover margin. LSU is ranked #101 out of 117 Division I teams. The Tigers are –7 this season. At the top of the ladder, Texas A&M is +16. Turnovers have killed the Tigers and kept the last two games closer than they should have been. The running backs have been careless with the ball and the same can be said for the quarterbacks.

With Marcus Randall at the helm, LSU has been as schizophrenic as any team in the SEC, even the entire country. Randall is now 8-6 in games in which he started or came off the bench to finish. LSU’s longest winning streak with Randall is two games. (win, loss, win, loss, win, loss, loss, win, win, loss, win, loss, win, win) In his career he has thrown 15 TD’s and 11 INT’s. I assume that Saban has decided to end the QB merry-go-round and just stick with Randall, come hell or high water.

Welcome to Hell…

Don’t misunderstand me, Randall plays very hard and prepares for games. But he hasn’t conquered the mental part of the game. Be it acting as a steadying influence or playing well week after week against quality opponents. Looking at his numbers, one could conclude that he is putting together a nice season. The problem is consistency. He played well last week yet struggled against an overmatched (or so it seemed on paper) Troy team. Opportunities present themselves Saturday and he didn’t take advantage of them. Against Florida, WITH a healthy running game, Randall made a number of plays and correct reads. Against Troy, he never took advantage of man coverage. He threw deep maybe once or twice. Is this a function of play calling? I have no idea, only the staff can answer that question. But this has been a problem ALL season. Having said all that, stunningly, LSU is second in the conference in passing offense.

* BTW: It seems like we ran only four different plays last night; the shuffle pass to Skyler Green, the slip screen to Craig Davis, 10 yard out routes, or my favorite, the drop back and run around and get two yards by Randall/ QB draw for 1 yard.

Adding to Saban’s angst, LSU’s inability to run the ball is a huge problem. I don’t know how the O-Line graded out, but it could not have been very good. Looking at the bigger picture, during Saban’s tenure at LSU, the Tigers have had only one 1000 yard rusher (Justin Vincent, 1001 yards in 2003). Again, this may be a function of play calling and the rotation of the running backs.

I think the rest of the season looks unclear at this point. No one can get a handle on this team. I assume Randall will be the quarterback all season, but how can you leave him in there if he continues to play poorly? If Saban rides the season out with Randall, where will the Tigers be next season? I have heard a number of negative things about Russell. He’s not that sharp; he doesn’t like to watch film; he can’t read defenses. If these things are true, I think the race will be wide open with Matt Flynn getting an opportunity to play. Quarterback is the toughest position to project coming out of high school, and while recruiting is important, I will always remain skeptical until a guy makes plays IN Tiger Stadium.

LSU gets Vandy next week and I am reluctant to guess what the final score may be. The Tigers will win the game, but who knows which offense will show up. Saban will be chewing ass all week, so I expect a solid performance. LSU 34 – Vandy 3.

So Now What????

So now what?

Are we going to have to wait another 45 years for the next National Championship?

What is the over/under on the number of games LSU loses before some fans start calling for Saban to be fired?

How many games will go by before we hear, “I really didn’t appreciate Matt Mauck till he was gone”?

Anyone starting to think this “new” piggyback BCS model is worse than the old bowl system?

Bush or Kerry?

Will Mack Brown’s job be on the line when the Longhorns meet Oklahoma on October 9?

What crappy Big Least team will end up in the BCS mix?

Is there really a Liberal Media Bias?

Who is going to lose first, USC or LSU?

Who is going to be the next “soldier” going to “war” for this “U?”

Anyone ever use the term “C---” (rhymes with “bunt”) as a term of endearment? (Click here if that one went over your head. Yes, this is a SPORTS related!)

What institution of higher education is going on probation next?

Is ESPN’s SportsCenter turning into the WWE of sporting news shows?

Kirsten Dunst or Mira Sorvino?

Where have all the stud running backs gone?

Who are the best LSU quarterbacks over the past 25 years?

Why do the plastic screws on my toilet seat keep breaking?

All are great questions, questions that the Hit Parade will be tackling all season long.

Moment of a Lifetime

I admit it. As I watched Nick Saban hoist the crystal football inside the Superdome, I got a little misty eyed. After watching good teams make runs to 10 win seasons in 1987 and 1996, and living through hell from 1989 to 1994, the 2003 football season will always hold a special place for me. The 2004 National Championship trophy represents the personal culmination of 22 years of cheering, cursing and crying. During all those preseason conversations filled with hope which inevitably led to late season discussions of “what if?,” I always held out hope, even if the flame flickered quite often during the “Curley-bout-Crazy” era.

In a season full of blowouts, two plays stick out in my mind: (1) Matt Mauck’s game winning pass to Skyler Green versus Georgia in Tiger Stadium, (2) Manning going down at Ole Miss on the Rebels final offensive drive. The plays typified LSU’s success on both sides of the ball. Excluding the Florida game, the Tigers had timely offensive production and key defensive stops all season.

I can’t add much about LSU’s performance. The DEFENSE was just too DAMN good. Earlier this season, I called them the Nasty Boys, and they lived up to the name time and again this season. The defense put LSU in a position to play for the National Championship. The defense won the Sugar Bowl while special teams and offense gave Oklahoma its scoring opportunities. Spears’ interception and return for a TD to begin the 3^rd quarter gave LSU an insurmountable lead which the defense preserved the rest of the way. How fitting was it for Lionel Turner to sack Heisman winning quarterback Jason White to seal the victory?

I’d be remiss in not mentioning the issue with the “split” title.

LSU would beat USC.

Oklahoma was the #1 scoring team in the nation. The Tigers held the Sooners to 14 points. LSU only gave up more than 20 points once the entire season, and that was to Arkansas as the Tigers scored 55 in a route. USC has more Heisman Trophy winners, more All-Americans, more Titles and more national recognition than LSU. But the Tigers have the Nasty Boys, and the Nasty Boys would not be denied.

I want to thank everyone for reading the page each week. You readers keep me going each week even when I’m feeling lazy.

See you next season…

Back in the Saddle

41 minutes and 43 seconds.

In a 60 minute game to possess the ball that long is unheard of. LSU regained its rhythm with a powerful 33-7 win over the less-than-Gamecocks. Any fears of a slump or hangover were put to rest in the first half as LSU went up 19-0 on three long scoring drives.

The offense line was fantastic. They opened holes and game Matt Mauck plenty of protection. Mauck was a model of efficiency going 24 of 30 with 2 TD’s. He did a great job managing the offense and even threw downfield a few times. He also checked down to Justin Vincent twice picking up big yards. I realize why the passing game is ball control. The long ball is not Mauck’s forte by a long shot. He under threw Henderson and over threw Green and Clayton on the three long passes of the game. I’m glad he’s chucking them up there however. He will make some strikes as the season moves on and hopefully keep the safeties from creeping up on LSU’s running game.

Speaking of the running game, LSU rushed for a season high 263 yards on 52 carries. The key was LSU’s superior line play. It’s amazing what our backs can do when given a crease. Broussard ran over the safety on his 33 yard gallop early in the game. Vincent was strong inside and shifty around the ends. If LSU can continue to open holes, the offense will flourish.

0 yards.

To hold a team averaging 185 yards a game on the grand to ZERO yards is outstanding. But what do you expect from the #1 rushing defense in the country. LSU is also first in the nation in scoring defense only giving up 9.86 points a game. With the exception of the two long pass plays by Pinkins, the defense played extremely well.

The game next week will be another classic in the series. I know Auburn has won 5 in a row, but I am not convinced. They have beaten two good teams in that stretch, Tennessee and Arkansas. After the beatings laid on those two by Georgia and Florida, I am left wondering, how good are those wins? Tuberville is up to his same bullshit leaving Carnell Williams in the game late getting him 6 TD’s to run it up on Jackie Sherrill. Auburn is still a one dimensional team. They are ranked 92nd in the country in passing. The teams are 2-2 in the last four meetings in Tiger Stadium. Saban is 1-2 against Tuberville.

The LSU defense will be able to slow the running game down and get after Auburn’s QB Jason Campbell. If LSU can have put together another solid performance running the ball, LSU will win the game. In a defensive struggle, I like LSU.

The REAL Tigers 23 – Those other Tigers 13.

Good...Bad

Good…The Mighty Spartans. 3-0 and in first place in the Big 11. They continue to impress but the meat of the schedule is up next with games at Minnesota, Ohio State and Wisconsin. The Spartans will win at least one of those games and be right in the hunt for the Big 11 title.

The Most Pathetic…Minnesota giving up 31 points in the 4th quarter against John Navarre. Navarre was 0-6 against ranked teams on the road. He’s a classic choker, just blitz him and he’ll crumble. What does Minnesota do? Play prevent defense the entire 4th quarter. Coaches lost that game, not the players. Play not to lose and you are just that, a loser. YOU SUCK GOLDEN GOOFERS!

Good…One half of my National Championship is rolling along. The Sooners annihilated Texas this weekend. Mack Brown needs a win in that game in one of the next two seasons of he will get run out of town. Some schools have game you just CANNOT lose on a regular basis. Auburn – Alabama, Ohio State – Michigan, USC – UCLA and Oklahoma – Texas. Lose too many against the big rival and you are going to get run off.

Bad…Texas. Wow.

Good…Notre Shame. Just when you think they are going in the tank, they pull off a great upset on the road no less running all over Shittsburgh.

Bad…Don’t believe the hype. Shittsburgh, Tennessee, K-State and Virginia were supposed to contend for conference championships. They are a combined 5-5 in conference games and only 15-9 overall.

Good…Boston College moves to the ACC.

Bad…The Big Least is quickly swirling round the bowl.

Good…The Contenders, Oklahoma, Va. Tech, Miami, TCU, and Northern Illinois

Bad…Poser Material, Ohio State, LSU, Arkansas, Minnesota, the Criminoles and Cornholers.

Good…Hobbies.

Bad…Knitting Club. What the hell is knitting club?

Good…Arnold in California.

Bad…Do you know that my state representative Is Cleo Fields? I thought this was a GOOD neighborhood I moved into!?

The Best…Convictions…and I’m not talking about your strong belief in the 4-3 vs. 3-4. I’m talking about putting killers behind bars. Melvin Elie, who I heard speak for the first time last week, was convicted on October 9, 2003 of Manslaughter. In my ever changing view on life, THAT counts as a big win. A much bigger win that beating Georgia.

The Worst…The pressure. Everyone has it. But during the trials, it become especially acute. By the time the trial is over, the overwhelming feeling is one of relief. It feels great to win and see justice done, but you are so worn out, you can’t fully appreciate the W. I still love my job, it just takes a real toll.

Title Hopes on Hold

Football can be a funny game. One day you are 5-0, ranked 6th in the country and folks are using your name in the same sentence with National Champion. The next day you are ranked third in your division and you have serious question marks for the rest of the season.

LSU stunk Saturday afternoon. The defense blew assignments and the offense was completely inept. One had to figure LSU would lay an egg this season, but not against the Gators. This is the same team which has beaten LSU 14 out that last 16 meetings. The same team that once beat LSU 58-3 in Tiger Stadium. The same team that Nick Saban now stands 1-3 against.

LSU has a laundry list of offensive problems:

- Matt Mauck looked terrible. He was 19 of 33, but only for a little over 200 yards. He was not sharp and took a few sacks when he could have thrown the ball away. He still refuses to throw downfield and give the LSU receivers a chance to make big plays. Chris Leak looked like the experienced veteran while Mauck looked like a lost freshman.

- The offensive line cannot run block. Pass protection was pretty good. But after six games, LSU does not have a consistent running game.

- Shyrone Carey is LSU’s best running back. Addai would do well on a power running team, but he’s not one to “make something out of nothing.” LSU needs to get Carey back in there pronto. Looking long term, LSU needs to recruit another top RB. Justin Vincent is no great shakes either.

- With a lack of execution, it is tough to accurately evaluate the play calling. We didn’t run any inside hand offs out of the gun and I don’t know if we have run ONE draw play the entire season. I don’t think you can expect the throw a bunch of 4 yard passes and hope they turn into TD’s. I think this is more a function of Mauck’s ineffectiveness rather than the actual play calling.

For the most part, the defense played well. There were breakdowns which can be attributed to Jack Hunt being out and good play selection by Florida. The two TD’s were off similar plays. The running back would delay then sneak out of the backfield and get open over the middle. Georgia would have scored a few weeks ago on a similar play had Lavalais not knocked the pass down on a great individual effort.

Where does LSU go from here? The Tigers will bounce back, but I don’t know if the offensive problems are easily correctable. The O-Line must improve and Matt Mauck must get better. I even thought the staff might throw Randall in the game to provide a spark. Randall has his shortcomings, but at least he is not afraid to throw downfield.

LSU is at South Carolina next weekend. The Gamecocks are lead by Dondrial Penkins at quarterback. Daccus Turman and Demetrius Summers form a running back by committee. South Carolina is solid on defense and will play to stop the run. Unless Mauck learns to throw deep and follow his progressions, the Tigers could be in for a long night. LSU’s defense is still nasty and will keep the Tigers close. But I think LSU’s woes will continue.

LSU 16 – USC 18.

Going Ugly Early

Talk about stinking up the place. LSU was dominated from the get go and only briefly showed any signs of life. The Tigers have many more games to play, but some major improvement is needed before LSU can hope to contend in the West.

The receivers sucked. No other way around it. Mauck wasn’t great, but at least he got sharper as the game went along. His only interception occurred when Carey kicked the ball up in the air after having the pass hit him directly in the hands (maybe he watched too much World Cup this summer?). Clayton dropped at least two, Brezell dropped a catchable pass, Toe dropped two easy ones and Dom Davis dropped a pair. Each drop sucked more and more life from LSU and resulted in more and more drinks for myself. Mauck wasn’t sharp, but he managed the game. No fumbles. Only one interception which wasn’t his fault. He will be a “caretaker” of this offense. Nothing special, but he won’t lose games for the Tigers (a la Josh “you still suck” Booty).

LSU still can’t run the ball with any consistency. The running game didn’t help to get Mauck in manageable 3rd down situations. Which leads me to ask, “what the hell is wrong with the offensive line?” Pass protection was poor especially on passing downs. And what is up with having to burn 3 timeouts in the first half because we can’t get a damn play off? What the hell have we been doing in practice the last month?

The defense actually played fairly well. Virginia Tech couldn’t sustain any drives and only scored on two short drives in the first half. Lavalais was fantastic throughout. I can’t believe we don’t have anyone better than Hookfin at CB. The guy is terrible. He hasn’t gotten any better it seems from last season. I’ll be glad when the guy is gone.

Special teams killed the Tigers. From the punt return for a touchdown which was called back to the two blocked punts, special teams set the tone for the game. I don’t think LSU ever really recovered from the called back TD. Saban commented that LSU’s intensity level was lacking. I have to agree. Some guys were playing scared I suppose.

Having said all that, we still can’t make any definite determinations about the Tigers. LSU has four consecutive games at home and will be favored in all of them. I think the friendly confines of Tiger Stadium will boost the intensity and give some young guys the confidence they need to play well.

If this column seems a bit disjointed and rambling, that’s because it is mirroring Sunday’s game. The more I think about the game the worse I feel. That was about the worst offensive performance I have seen since the last days of Gerry D. Saban in now 4-5 in road games at LSU (excluding bowls and SEC Championship). Wins over Miss. State, Kentucky, Ole Piss and Bama are balanced against losses to Tennessee, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas and now Virginia Tech. Seeing a pattern there? Saban wants to dominate, but until the Tigers can go on the road and beat good teams (like the LSU squads in the mid 80’s), don’t look for anything special.

I heard a quote from someone the other day who said, “God gave us eyes in the front of our heads for a reason.” I hope LSU can put this game behind them and move on. Four consecutive home games will allow LSU to correct the mistakes which marred this game and also (hopefully) get a conference win over MSU.

LSU’s next opponent, the Citadel, is a division I-AA program and won’t be much of a challenge. LSU should hang 50 on them without breaking a sweat. Thanks to playing on Sunday and having Monday off, this short week will let the Tigers get right back in the saddle.

2002 SEC West Preview

Can LSU repeat? How will probation affect Alabama? Can MSU regroup after last year’s disaster? Is it Ole Piss’ turn to make the SEC Championship? Will Arkansas find an offense? Did Auburn do the right thing when hiring the “Riverboat Bumbler…er…Gambler?” The SEC West has had a different representative each of the past four years. MSU in 1998, Alabama in 1999, Auburn in 2000 and LSU in 2001. LSU went from being one of only two teams in the West never to go to the SEC Championship to only the second team in the West to win the SEC Title (the other being Bama of course).

I’ve given a great deal of thought to these rankings. I’ve spent plenty of hours of reading articles on the internet and pre-season magazines, pouring over schedules, returning line-ups and incoming freshman. And after all of that I still am left with more questions than answers. So I humbly present my forecast for the SEC West.

Roll Tide. I may take some heat from the Tiger faithful for this pick, but I think Alabama will win the West. However, they will have an asterisk next to their name in the standings because of probation. Which puts, drum roll please, the LSU Tigers in the SEC Championship in a rematch with Tennessee. If everyone will recall, Auburn was the last SEC team placed on probation with a post season ban back in 1993. Auburn proceeded to go 20-1-1 over the next two seasons. I’m not saying Alabama will fare that well, but they have the players and schedule to come out on top of the SEC West with a 5-3 or 6-2 conference record. Tyler Watts (QB) has loads of experience from last year and won’t be looking over his shoulder at Andrew Zow who graduated. Santonio Beard (RB) and Ahmaad Galloway (RB) provide workhorses in the backfield. The players on the squad will have a bunker mentality, as there wasn’t the mass exodus of players as some had expected. Coach Fran will have them better prepared in his second year and I expect Bama to close out some games they gave away last season.

LSU will have its best defense since 1995. With Hill (DE) and Spears (DE) on the ends and Lavalais (DT) in the middle, Bradie James (LB) and company will be able to lay some lumber. The secondary will be better and less susceptible to the big play. Norman LeJeune at SS gives LSU it’s biggest hitter in that spot in many years. Fortunately for Matt Mauck (QB), LSU returns six starters from last year, and that does not even count Dom Davis (RB) and Rob Sale (OL) who saw plenty of time in 2001. The schedule is tough with road games at Florida, Auburn and Arkansas. But I’ve picked LSU almost by default. Every other team in the West has even more questions than LSU.

The Hogs are hard to get a read on. At times, they had the worst offense I had ever seen. They scored 14 points or less 5 times last season. The Hogs D bailed them out as they went 2-3 in those five games. At other points they put serious points on the board. Matt Jones needs to be given the starting job outright. He was magnificent against Ole Miss and LSU where he showed a knack for making plays. John Thompson is gone as defensive coordinator so do expect this year’s squad to be as stingy.

Eli Manning will put up big numbers this season. Unfortunately for him, Ole Miss’ opponents will put up some big numbers against the Rebel’s D. Ole Miss must replace the talented Joe Gunn at RB but they do return experienced WR’s and offensive linemen. Papa Manning squashed the Heisman campaign which should take some pressure off Eli.

Auburn is still mired in the QB controversy which lingered at the end of last season. Daniel Cobb was granted a sixth year of eligibility and will battle sophomore Jason Campbell. Cadillac Williams will provide Auburn with a nice running game, but the late season flame out of last year troubles me. Tuberville fired his long time offensive and defensive coordinators at the end of the season. Obviously the heat is on Tuberville to produce. The schedule is a wash as the other Tigers get LSU and Georgia at home while going on the road to play Bama and Florida.

MSU will struggle again this season. But they hauled in a great recruiting class and I think Sherrill can get them back to where the Bulldogs were in 1998 when they won the SEC West. The Bulldogs return 14 starters which is key against a tough early season slate which includes road trips to Oregon, LSU and South Carolina. Kevin Fant replaces Chris Rock…er…Wayne Madkin at QB. Donte Walker is back (RB) and the defense had the 2001 season to integrate a number of JUCO transfers.

2002 SEC East Preview

With the departure of the “Evil Genius,” AKA Steve Spurrier, the SEC East takes on a new look this season. But make no mistake about it, Florida still has loads of talent and will be right in the thick of the SEC East race. But this will be the season of that ugly orange tidal wave known as the University of Tennessee. The Vols return a number of key players and the schedule is very favorable, a total of 9 games will be played inside the state Tennessee, including the Florida game. After coming up short against LSU’s best squad in over 15 years in the SEC Championship, the Vols will be hungry for an SEC title and possible National Championship. Tennessee will start 8 seniors on defense, 4 on the defensive line. Casey Clausen (QB) is a top Heisman contender and with talented Kelly Washington (WR), who torched LSU for over 250 yards last season, and a bevy of young stud running backs, the Vols will not be denied this season.

I initially picked Georgia to win the SEC East. A bit of a trendy pick but justifiable I thought. But after reviewing Georgia’s tough SEC road games, I had to reconsider. The Bulldogs play at South Carolina, at Alabama and at Auburn and play Florida in Jacksonville. Mark Richt will be at Georgia a while and will eventually break through, but just not this year. The manner in which Richt handles the Greene vs. Shockley situation at QB will be very telling on this season. Greene had a fantastic freshman year but Shockley’s abilities could be compared to Charlie Ward. The Bulldogs have no depth at RB and need to plug some big holes on the D-Line. However, anything less than 9 wins this season would be a big disappointment.

I personally will miss Steve Spurrier. He took no prisoners and regularly spoke his mind about the thugs right up the street from Gainesville, AKA the “Criminoles” or “Free Shoes University.” Florida is in good hands with coach Ron Zook. Grossman is back and the Gators will be right in the mix. Florida’s offense should have a more diversified running attack which will take some of the pressure off Grossman (another top Heisman candidate), not that he really needs it. The games against Miami, UT and FSU create a brutal schedule for a first year coach, but don’t be surprised if the Gators win at least 2 of those games. Talent abounds and the Swamp is one of the toughest places to play in the country.

South Carolina got bad news this off-season when terribly talented and terribly misguided Derek Watson was kicked off the squad in January after being arrested for possession of marijuana. (I can’t tell you how many convictions I have had for that offense in only 5 months of doing misdemeanors. Reefer Madness I say!) The Gamecocks do return one of my favorite players, Ryan Brewer. The guy is nothing to look at but is the consummate “football player.” I encourage everyone to watch this guy in his senior season. He can do it all.

Kentucky will always be a basketball school. Football is an afterthought, and this year is no different. With a rebuilt O-Line and probation hanging over this team, don’t expect too much. Jared Lorenzen is back as the biggest QB in all of football, coming in at a solid 6’4,” 275 pounds. UK will put up some serious numbers, but they will give up even more. Winning 5 games this season would be a great accomplishment.

Vanderbilt is breaking in another new coach who will try and break Vanderbilt’s current string of 19 (?) consecutive years without a bowl appearance. Don’t expect any great uprising from the Dores this year. They lost their starting QB and Vandy will always be playing teams with superior talent. Only games against Furman and UConn will keep Vanderbilt from going winless this season.

2002 SEC Forecast

East

1. Tennessee
2. Georgia
3. Florida
4. South Carolina
5. Vanderbilt
6. Kentucky

West

1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Arkansas
4. Ole Miss
5. Auburn
6. MSU

A Day in the Life...

8:30 a.m….Roll out the rack after having one too many Cosmopolitans the night before.

9:00 a.m….Hop out the shower and read the local fish wrap. Check the games that are going to be on TV.

9:25 a.m….Girlfriend heads off for the morning jog. Just in time for...

9:30 a.m….Chris, Kirk and the Coach give me the skinny on all the day’s match-ups. College Game day is the best pre-game show around.

10:40 a.m…Set up second TV to have 3 games on at once.

10:57 a.m….Girlfriend finishes jog and heads back to the house.

11:00 a.m….Oklahoma v. Kansas State and Michigan State v. Northwestern kick off.

11:24 a.m….Crack open first Miller Lite of the day.

11:32 a.m….South Carolina v. Alabama kicks off.

12:03 p.m….LUNCH TIME! Roast Beef po-boy dipped in gravy. Can’t beat authentic New Orleans French bread.

12:35 p.m….Pee Break.

12:40 p.m….Oklahoma leads 28-14 at the half.

1:18 p.m….Second beer of the day, taking it slow so I can make it to the LSU game.

2:25 p.m….Michigan State’s Charles Johnson returns a punt 64 yards to put the Mighty Spartans up 20-17.

2:26 p.m….Michigan State misses the extra point!

2:30 p.m…Florida v. Mississippi State and ND v. Texas A&M kickoff.

2:45 p.m…Northwestern drives the field and scores with only 29 seconds left. NU 24 – MSU 20.

2:48 p.m….Herb Haygood returns the ensuing kickoff 85 yards for a TD. MSU 26 – NU 24.

2:49 p.m….MSU MISSES ANOTHER EXTRA POINT.

2:51 p.m….Phil Petty tosses winning TD with only a few minutes left to give South Carolina its first win ever over Alabama.

2:53 p.m….Northwestern runs “Victory Right” and connects on a 53 yard hail mary.

2:55 p.m….Northwestern kicks a 47 yard FG with no time remaining. NU 27 – MSU 26.

2:58 p.m….Phil Petty takes a final knee as South Carolina LOSERS storm the field to destroy the goal posts. I could really go without that sort of stupid crap. Storming the field is for losers and idiots. Idiots 37 – Ebb Tide 36.

3:00 p.m….Pee Break and grab another beer on the way back to the couch.

3:10 p.m….Oklahoma defeats KSU 38-37 in a marathon 4 hour game.

3:30 p.m….First quarter finally ends, Florida 21 – MSU 0.

4:01 p.m….Florida, Michigan and Texas A&M are all firmly in command.

4:02 p.m….Girlfriend falls asleep on couch claiming, “these blowout are boring. Wake me when something interesting happens.”

4:11 p.m….Start getting a headache, am I getting that soft?

5:25 p.m….ABC FINALLY cuts away from that absolutely awful ND v. A&M game. Although we missed most of the Clemson v. Georgia Tech game, the best was yet to come.

5:32 p.m….The Yellow Jackets score to go up 38-34.

5:39 p.m….Clemson counters with a 63 yard TD strike on a 4^th down. Clemson 41 – GT 38.

5:45 p.m…Another trip to the can and another cold beer.

5:50 p.m….GT kicks a FG with 6 seconds left to get the game into overtime. (Very conservative play calling. The second guessers will be on the radio talk shows this week.)

6:01 p.m….Final Score: Florida 52 – MSU 0.

6:07 p.m….Woody Danzler runs a QB draw in OT to score the winning TD. Clemson 47 – GT 44.

6:45 p.m….LSU v. Tennessee FINALLY kicks off.

7:00 p.m….Eat some of mom’s delicious fried chicken. Don’t take my word for it, you need to come on over to the Traylor household and take a bite for yourself.

10:15 p.m….Tigers come up short but at least my headache is gone. Watch Spice Channel for a few minutes than crawl in the rack.

2001 SEC Forecast

SEC East

1. Florida
2. Tennessee
3. South Carolina
4. Georgia
5. Vanderbilt
6. Kentucky

SEC West

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. MSU
4. Arkansas
5. Auburn
6. Ole Miss

2001 SEC West Preview

Not to bring up bad memories, but anyone remember 1998?

A pre-season ranking of #8, expectations of an SEC West Title, whispers of a possible run at a National Championship. We'll never do that again! Or will we? Let's get one thing straight; LSU fans are about as unrealistic as everyone else. With the emergence of Bob Stoops and his success at Oklahoma after only two years at the helm, alumni, donors and fans want WINS....IMMEDIATELY.

So what is a coach to do? Sign a big FAT contract with a large buyout and hope some 18 and 20 year olds make a few critical plays each game to keep him off the hot seat. LSU is ranked in the teens in many of the preseason journals, lofty expectations for a program still trying to recapture the glory years of the late 50's and 60's when LSU dominated the SEC. But all the pieces are there for LSU to make a serious run at the SEC West.

LSU is a match for any team in the conference at the skill positions on offense. The O-Line will be the real question this season. On defense, LSU fields, in my mind, the best LB corps in the country. Faulk, James and Lawrence fly to the ball and all have a knack for making plays. The comparisons to 1998 may be unfair for the simple fact that this staff is still intact (both coordinators return) and the players will have two years under this system. The leadership and continuity are there, but the Tigers have a challenging schedule with Tennessee, Alabama and MSU all on the road. Combine that with LSU's three near disasters from last season (UT, MSU and Bama) this team could thrive or tank. Let's hope the Tigers can bring LSU its first outright SEC West Title and a trip to the SEC Championship in Atlanta.

Operating under the cloud of an NCAA investigation over the Albert Means incident, new head coach Dennis Franchione is trying to restore some sanity and stability to the Alabama program. This team is loaded and will win football games this season. Franchione won 10 games with TCU last year and should instill confidence in this Bama squad which is only two seasons removed from an SEC Championship and an Orange Bowl appearance. Playmaker Freddie Milons is back as is Andrew Zow (the guy can play, trust me). The real question revolves around possible NCAA sanctions and what effect they may have on the team. (Didn't seem to bother Auburn when they went 11-0 while on probation in Terry Bowden's first year.) The defense has a number of new faces, but the LB's are exceptional, led by Junior Saleem Rasheed. As with every team in the West, questions abound and will only be answered as the season progresses.

Let's hope we never have to hear, "Who let the dogs out!" ever again. MSU will be solid as Jackie Sherrill enters his 23rd season as a college head coach. The Bulldogs return 8 starters on offense and 5 on defense. MSU arguably has the best backfield in the country in Dicenzo Miller and Dontae Walker. The duo rushed for 1800 yards and 19 TD's last year. With nearly the entire OL returning from last season, expect substantial production from MSU on that side of the ball. The defense will again play aggressively and use press coverages. Fred Smoot turns over the reigns of the secondary to Pig Prather who should thrive this season. MSU, Bama and LSU are very close and any one of the three could win the West.

Arkansas gets the very talented Cedric Cobbs back this season. The question is, who's going to play QB. The Razorbacks suffered off season defections at the position which leaves them without a clear cut starter going into the season. I'm still not sold on Houston Nutt as a coach. Yes, they had a great first year, but haven't even come close to matching that success ever since. Danny Ford left Nutt a very talented team; I am curious to see if Nutt can get the Hogs back to another bowl game this year.

Tommy Tuberville is an ass. The cigars in 1999 and the garbage TD with less than a minute to play last year really hacked me off. Now that I've gotten that out the way, we can talk about all the holes in Auburn's offense. The other Tigers lost their starting QB, RB, FB and best WR. (Anyone else think Ronney Daniels is a fool for leaving a year early?) Auburn will have a solid defense which will keep them in games this season, but with so many new faces on offense, I don't expect big things from them this year. (This game is circled on my calendar as the big grudge match this year. I hate those guys!)

Eli Manning returns to the place where his father electrified the faithful for many a Saturday over 30 years ago. But unlike the days past, Ole Miss is no longer the powerhouse they once were. Ole Miss is in the same boat as Auburn as they lost their starting QB, RB and Grant Heard, their go-to WR. The Rebels will be fortunate to have a winning season.

2001 SEC East Preview

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

- Frank Lloyd Wright

If you will indulge me in a cliché', the more things change, the more things stay the same. The Mighty Gators, who some have ranked pre-season #1, are once again loaded. With plenty of talent on both sides of the ball and a favorable schedule, the Gators are poised to make a run at another National Championship.
The biggest hurdles they will face are home games against Tennessee and the Criminoles, a road trip to Tiger Stadium (remember '97?) and the potential QB shuffle between Rex Grossman and Brock Berlin. Steve Spurrier is looking for a leader to emerge as Danny Wuerffel did in 1996 when he led the Gators to their only National Championship.

Tennessee is also extremely talented this year. But how can they beat the Gators in the Swamp when they can't win at home? UT hasn't won at Florida since the 70's. With this year's Gators, I don't give the Vols much chance of pulling the upset. But don't be surprised to see them go 10-1 and potentially make a BCS Bowl. They are loaded on both sides of the ball and Fulmer is a top notch coach.

Love him or hate him, one must acknowledge the fact that Lou Holtz can coach. After a brutal 0-11 campaign in 1999, the 2000 Gamecocks were the talk of college football. With another year in the system, QB Phil Petty should be able to effectively lead the offense. The big question is whether RB Derek Watson can stay out of trouble. If he does, the Gamecocks have a chance to challenge the big Bullies of the East.

Georgia made the very surprising decision to fire Jim Donnan after bringing the Dawgs to four straight bowls and coming away with four consecutive bowl victories. Mark Richt, the former offensive coordinator for the Criminoles gets his first stint as a head coach. Good luck. Playing in the East will be a real challenge, but Georgia starts the season with four straight home games which may allow the coaching staff to work out a few kinks and get a better feel for the squad.

For the second year in a row, Vandy will not finish last in the East. The Commodores can have a winning season, but they must take care of the three non-league games (MTSU, Duke and Richmond), then beat UK, Ole Miss on the road and steal one (Auburn at home?)

Kentucky is a mess. They will struggle mightily this year. A winless conference schedule is a definite possibility this season.

Good...Bad

Good...UAB, I like that little dragon on the helmet

Bad…LSU

Good…South Carolina, Pittsburgh and North Carolina State are a combined 12-0

Bad…Alabama and Penn State are a combined 2-7

Good…Melissa Stark

Even Better…Jill Arrington

Good…Jeff Smoker, 4^th and 10, game on the line, no problem. The freshman quarterback threw a 68-yard game winning touchdown pass to Herb Haygood with only 1:48 left.

Bad…Josh Booty, 1^st and 10 with a chance to win the game. Let me throw another interception.

Good…Michigan State gets a gutsy 27-21 victory over Notre Dame.

Bad…Penn State stinks. I think even LSU could give them a run for their money.

Good…Still in the hunt, Nebraska, FSU, K-State, Clemson, Florida, Ohio State, Michigan State, Oklahoma, Virginia Tech, Washington, Auburn and USC (both of them)

Bad…Poser material, UCLA and Wisconsin.

Good…the e-mails on the Jim Rome show. Very funny stuff.

Bad…the callers on the Jim Rome show. Very bad stuff.

Good…The Dolphins win again.

Bad…Da Saints.

Good…The Saint Louis Rams may be the most talented offensive team ever assembled. Those dudes are AWESOME.

Bad… Saints Special Teams are anything but special.

Good…Miller Lite

Bad…Schlitz

Good…Top QB’s, Woody Danzler (Clemson), Chris Weinke (FSU) and Michael Vick VaTech)

Also Good…Top RB’s, Michael Bennett (Wisconsin), the A-Train Anthony Thomas (Michigan) and LaDanian Tomlinson (TCU)

Good…Alice in Chains and 311

Bad…N’Sync and the Backstreet Boys

Good…Drew Brees, 409 yards passing and 88 yards rushing with 3 TD’s

Bad…Josh Booty, hell, I’ve cracked on that clown too much as it is…..

The Best…Tomorrow is always another day. No matter how bad yesterday was, today brings new hope. We can put the mistakes of the past behind us and move on to better days, hopefully so much the wiser. The sun still came up on Sunday; my paper was thrown in my carport and my dogs were barking as loud as ever. (Bad Maggie!!) The LSU football team, the LSU fans (especially) and everyone else need to keep that in mind. It’s only a game, a game LSU will eventually play well. Let’s just hope sooner rather than later. This goes for Josh Booty too. I mean, it can’t get worse…can it?

The Worst…Keyshawn Johnson, dude is a total loser. It’s one thing to run smack at someone, it’s another thing to make it a personal mission to insult another player and coach any chance you get. Just another example of a classless and immature NFL millionaire. Fortunately the Jets won he was shut down. Let’s hope he shuts up as well.

Push the Panic Button. NOW!!!

That’s right, push that panic button with all due haste. Shades of the worst of Curley Hallman and the death knell game of Gerry DiNardo come to mind when thinking of this past weekend. Let’s break it down. Not that it makes me feel any better to actually dig into that ugly game, but there were some positives.

The defense played well. They gave up only 13 points and 6 of those came off LSU turnovers. Given the offense turned it over SIX times, the defense was stout. UAB only gained 187 yards in total offense.

I thought the pass protection was decent for the most part. Booty was only sacked once.

However, the negatives heavily outweighed the positives.

Josh Booty continues to struggle. I really don’t see much improvement in his game from last year. Disregarding the first game against W. Carolina, his numbers are 40-88 (45%), 574 yards (191 yards/game), 4 TD’s and 7 Int.’s. He’s on pace to throw 21 Int’s this season. Nothing is more frustrating than watching true freshmen like Jeff Smoker at Michigan State or Philip Rivers at North Carolina State make game winning plays while watching Josh Booty throw the game away. Yes some guys dropped balls, but when crunch time comes, Booty is woefully incompetent. The problem is there is evidently no one else to run this offense. Get ready Tiger fans; you will probably be forced to sit through another long and painful season.

The receivers couldn’t catch a cold. I lost track of the number of dropped passes. When Booty was actually throwing to the correct team, LSU’s receivers couldn’t hang on.

Still can’t run block very well.

John Corbello can’t hit anything beyond 35 yards. He is struggling this year hitting only 3 of 7 FG’s.

I can’t believe some of the garbage I hear on talk radio. Jimmy Ott insists that Josh Booty is an NFL quarterback. Right. Unless this guy makes some miraculous transformation, he’ll be lucky to start next year. The guy is a bad football player. No other way around it. He can’t read a defense and it seems that he may be tough to coach. I don’t consider ad-libbing to a play only he knows good decision making. Just run the play genius. Don’t think, that’s when you get in trouble.

Where does LSU go from here? Hell if I know, I count beans and sue people for a living. But I think Craig Nall may be moving up the depth chart. Not because of anything he has done, but with Booty’s poor performances, you’ve got to wonder how patient the staff is going to be with him. The WR’s coach must be a little red faced. His crew was pretty pitiful this past week. The best thing to look at this year is the development of individual players who may be able to help LSU next year. It’s obvious the woes of last year were not all caused by poor coaching. This is a very talented staff working with very average talent. Jimbo Fisher is an up and coming coach who has tutored some fine quarterbacks. This loss is very disappointing, but everyone needs to be patient.

Nick Saban will start earning that paycheck in the off season when he starts getting some studs to sign with LSU. (It’s already begun by the way.) I’m buying into the philosophy of building a program, not a team. Look at the fine Michigan State team he left, plenty of blue chip players who know how to win. That’s where LSU will be. Just be patient.

Strike up the Band

I hit the Chimes after work on Tuesday and was fortunate enough to hear the band practicing. The bands are a critical part of what makes college football special. Although everyone loves the nan-na-nan-nant of LSU, I think USC has one of the best fight songs in America.

Here is the link to download it. Fanfare, Tribute to Troy and Fight On

Just a few comments on the depth chart, it looks like Darren Parquet may get red-shirted this year as he has not been listed on the RB chart. This will give him a year to get stronger and faster, similar to the situation with Rondel Mealy. I also noticed the staff moved Norman LeJeune to Free Safety. This guy was an excellent hitter last year so I look for him to possibly get more playing time as the nickel back. I think Saban wants a BIG hitter at Strong Safety so LeJeune got caught up in a size game. Abram Booty looks to be the 4th receiver, which is about where he should be. Demetrius Hookfin evidently impressed at CB and has bumped Robert Davis as starting Right Corner. Hookfin is young and presents a big upside to LSU, as he will grow into the position, hopefully. I was really surprise Dom Davis got bumped from starting RB. He was impressive last year in the limited duty he played. Toefield was not impressive last summer in the scrimmages I saw him. Obviously the knee is healed and he is ready to run over some folks this year. I still can’t get over his stats from his junior year in high school, 2,800 yards and 45 touchdowns. That is obscene.

Don’t expect to get much out of the first game. It will give the coaches an opportunity to look at everyone but that’s about it. It will be the most beneficial to the young guys as they can get some jitters out and find some sort of comfort zone playing to a big audience. I love a blowout as much as the next guy and this should be an offensive exhibition for the Tigers.

Good...Bad

Good…Only 6 days left until LSU kicks off the 2000 football season.

Bad…. 6 long and excruciating days until LSU kicks off the 2000 football season.

Good…Michigan State is 22 in the pre season coaches poll and 25 in the AP poll

Bad…. Is Michigan State an institute for higher learning or reformatory school for wayward youngsters?

Good…Tailgating at an LSU football game

Bad…Sweating like the proverbial “whore in church” while tailgating at an LSU football game

Good…The NFL exhibition season is over

Bad…. The NFL exhibition season is a joke. Someone get rid of this crap.

Good…Bruce Snyder, head coach at Arizona State, takes the high road and boots his
starting QB off the team after an off the field incident.

Bad… Jo Pa, how can you let Casey play? He beat up a cop.

Good…The bands at college football games.

Bad… The piped in music at most NFL games.

Good…Melissa Stark

Bad… Eric “the dick” Dickerson

The Best…All of the feelings, emotion and fun that comes with the college football season. Every year millions of fans get geared up to root for their alma mater, state school or favorite program. There’s no salary cap, your favorite player won’t get traded, your team won’t move and you don’t have to pay for pre-season games when buying season tickets. You gotta love it.

The Worst...I’m not even going there.

2000 SEC Preview

Welcome back everyone. It’s good to be talking about college football again. Thanks for visiting my page. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. As I said last year, I don’t pretend to have the inside skinny on any aspect of the program. You want game recaps and the “word on the street” you’ll have to look elsewhere. All I offer are my takes on LSU and other goings on in the world of sports. Feel free to write and contribute to my page. Remember to check back at the beginning of each week to see the weekly installment of the Good…Bad list.

This will be a very balanced year in both divisions of the SEC. I can’t remember a season in recent memory where there were so many questions to be answered in the East. Is this Georgia’s year? Will Tennessee be down? Will Jesse Palmer be the answer for the Gators? What about Louisiana product Brock Berlin, where does he fit in the mix?

Although the trendy pick is Georgia, I’m going with the Gators. Three defensive coordinators in three years does not create cohesion on the defensive side of the ball. The only reason Georgia will not have a meltdown (see LSU 1998) is Quincy Carter. Although my brother-in-law disagrees, I think he is a fabulous player who can literally do it all. He is the Michael Vick of the SEC. But Carter is a much more accomplished passer and thus brings more to the table. Florida’s defense returns ten starters with loads of talent. Spurrier will have the offense back on track so I look for more consistency and productivity from them. This is how I see the East stacking up.

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Tennessee
4. Kentucky
5. Vanderbilt
6. South Carolina

The West is wild once again. Alabama is strong but if but they lost two key ingredients to their offensive success, Shaun Alexander and Chris Samuels. The Crimson Tide secondary is also suspect. But I still think they will win the West. Ole Miss has a great backfield but until they beat the big boys, I’ll take a ‘show me’ attitude toward their chances this year. The rest of the teams are all close and could end up in any order. I think MSU and Arkansas will be down which will allow Auburn and LSU to step up and have winning records. This is how I see the West finishing.

1. Alabama
2. Ole Miss
3. LSU
4. Auburn
5. MSU
6. Arkansas

I see the Tigers winning 6 or 7 games this year. They have three rent-a-wins. Therefore you are looking at winning 3 or 4 conference games. LSU gets Kentucky and MSU at home this year. I think LSU can win both of these games. Then they only need to steal one more game from someone to get to 6 wins and a bowl birth. But where will it come? I love these idiots on talk radio. I really do. I’ve heard people state that a victory over Auburn is a foregone conclusion. Hello…this is a team that hung 41 on us in our own house. Now we have to visit them, which may actually be a blessing. The road team has won this game every year since 1996. I like our chances against Tennessee, if the game is played at night. A night game is good for at least four points to LSU. I liken the game to LSU’s 1995 victory over Auburn. It will be sold out and the place will be hyped, as LSU will be 3-1 or even 4-0 when the Vols visit Baton Rouge for the first time since 1989. LSU won’t win in the Swamp and Bama will not lose in Tiger Stadium. Alabama has not suffered a defeat in Baton Rouge since 1969. Ridiculous. That leaves tough road games against Ole Miss and Arkansas. Everyone needs to take a deep breath and be satisfied with a bowl game. Any bowl game. However, I do think a losing season would be a major disappointment. LSU has enough talent to win at least 3 conference games, especially after come close many times last year.

Anyone who read this page last year knows I can’t stand Josh Booty and the phenomenon I call “the Cult of Booty.” These were the nimrods saying the coaches didn’t call good plays for Booty in the Arkansas game, that’s why he struggled. Right, keep telling yourself that. But it looks like he gets the job by default. Possibly with better coaching he can avoid the mistakes of last year. But believe me, if Rohan were healthy, Booty would only see the field at garbage time. OK, enough negativism.

Geaux Tigers.